Answers to your questions about dating marriage and family

Jennifer J. Harman, PhD – Relationship Expert, Researcher, & Public Speaker

answers to your questions about dating marriage and family

jenniferjillharman - Products - The Science of Relationships: Your Answers to Questions about Dating, Marriage, and Family. Response. If you could ask any question about relationships, marriage, family, or parenting, what would you ask? Coincidentally, we've just published a book (that big title. to Your Questions about. Dating, Marriage, and. Family. Thu, 18 Oct question about relationships, marriage, family, or parenting, what.

If you could wave a magic wand right now and have your life be perfect, what would that new life look like? What could you spend all day talking about? On your last vacation, did you plan everything out beforehand or go with the flow?

For many people, having things scheduled or planned will cause anxiety and make a vacation stressful. On the other hand, those who are planners might find an open vacation with no plans to be anxiety provoking. This one gets to the bottom of it without it seeming like an interrogation. What dating advice would you give the high school version of you?

You also get a sense of how the person sees him or herself then and now, and what could be improved. A similar question might reference volunteerism! Clarka psychologist in Washington, D. If you had a dinner party and had to invite a musician, a politician, a famous couple and only one family member, who would you invite? What would you be serving, where would you have it, and what would be on your dinner playlist? It also allows you to see how they use their imagination, which can be helpful later on in romance and sex.

We may have a problem. Do you have health insurance? Do you belong to a gym?

answers to your questions about dating marriage and family

If so, how much time do you spend at the gym every week? Do you play sports or take exercise classes? Have you ever been in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship? Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder? Have you ever been in a serious accident? Do you take medication? Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?

11 Questions You Should Be Able To Answer Before You Get Married

Have you ever been treated for a mental disorder? Do you see a therapist? Do you smoke, or have you ever smoked? Do you consider yourself an addictive personality, and have you ever suffered from an addiction?

Have you ever been told you have an addiction problem, even though you might disagree? How much alcohol do you drink every week? Do you use recreational drugs? Have any of these health problems ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

How important is it that you always look your best? Are there cosmetic procedures that you regularly undergo? Is weight control important to you? What would your reaction be if your partner were to gain a significant amount of weight?

How much money do you spend on clothing every year? Do you worry about getting old? Do you worry about losing your looks? What do you like and dislike about your appearance? When you were a child, were you often complimented or shamed about your looks? What would your reaction be if your spouse lost a limb?

How would you handle this loss? Do you feel that you can have good chemistry with someone who is moderately physically attractive to you, or is a strong physical attraction necessary?

answers to your questions about dating marriage and family

Do you want children? Are you unable to have children? Would you feel unfulfilled if you were unable to have children? Who is responsible for birth control? What would you do if there were an accidental pregnancy before you planned to have children? What is your view of fertility treatments? Would you adopt if you were unable to have a child naturally? What is your view of abortion?

Should a husband have an equal say in whether his wife has an abortion? Have you ever had an abortion? Have you ever given birth to a child or fathered a child who was put up for adoption? How important is it to you that your children are raised near your extended family? Do you believe that a good mother will want to breast-feed her baby?

Do you believe a mother or father should stay at home with a child during the first six months of life? Do you believe in spanking a child? What type of discipline do you believe in time-out, standing in the corner, taking away privileges, etc.

Do you believe that children have rights? Do you believe that children should be raised with some religious or spiritual foundation? Should boys be treated the same as girls?

276 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU MARRY

Should they have the same rules for conduct? Should you have the same expectations for their sexual behavior? Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active? How would you handle it if you didn't like your child's friends? In a blended family; should birth parents be in charge of making decisions for their own children? Would you ever consider getting a vasectomy or having your tubes tied?

Have differences concerning conception or child-raising ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Are you close to your family? Are you or have you ever been alienated from your family?

Do you have a difficult time setting limits with family? Have you identified the childhood wound that may have sabotaged your relationships in the past—the deeply imprinted fear that made you want to escape? How were you most hurt in your family; and who hurt you? How did your parents settle conflicts when you were a child? Do people in your family carry long-term grudges?

How much influence do your parents still have over your decisions? Have unresolved or ongoing family issues ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Do you see a close friend or friends at least once a week? Do you speak to any of your friends on the phone every day? Are your friendships as Important to you as your life partner is? If your friends need you, are you there for them? Is it important to you for your partner to accept and like your friends?

Is it important that you and your partner have friends in common? Do you have a difficult time setting limits with friends?

Has a partner ever been responsible for breaking up a friendship? Have friends ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Are you an animal lover? Do you have a dog, cat, or other beloved pet? Have you ever been physically aggressive with an animal? Have you deliberately hurt an animal?

Do you believe a person should give up his or her pet if it interferes with the relationship? Do you consider pets members of your family?

Have disagreements about pets ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Do you consider yourself liberal, moderate, or conservatives, or do you reject political labels? What was the attitude in your family about political involvement and social action? Do you belong to a political party? Are you actively involved? Did you vote in the last presidential election? Do you believe that two people of differing political ideologies can have a successful marriage?

Do you believe that the political system is skewed against people of color, poor people, and the disenfranchised? Which political issues do you care about? Has politics ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Is it important for you to be involved in your local community? Do you like having a close relationship with your neighbors?

For example, would you give a neighbor a spare key to your home? Do you regularly participate in community projects? Do you believe that good fences make good neighbors? Have you ever had a serious dispute with a neighbor?

Do you take pains to be considerate of your neighbors for example, keeping a lid on loud music, barking dogs, etc.

12 questions couples should be able to answer about each other after a year together - HelloGiggles

How important is it to you to contribute time or money to charity? Which kind of charities do you like to support? How much of your annual income do you donate to charity? Have attitudes about charitable contributions ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Have you served in the military?

Have your parents or other relatives served in the military? Would you want your children to serve in the military? Do you personally identify more with a nonviolent approach, or with making change through military force and action? Has military service or attitudes about military service ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

Do you consider yourself a law-abiding person? Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, what was it?

answers to your questions about dating marriage and family

Have you ever been arrested? If yes, for what? Have you ever been in jail? Have you ever been involved in a legal action or lawsuit? If yes, what were the circumstances? Have you ever been the victim of a violent crime? If yes, describe what happened. Have you ever failed to pay child support? Have legal or criminal issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Where do you get your news for example, TV news programs, radio, newspapers, newsmagazines, the Internet, friends?

Do you believe what you read and see in the news, or do you question where information is coming from and what the true agenda is?

Do you seek out media with diverse perspectives on the news? Have media differences ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Do you believe in God? What does that mean to you? Do you have a current religious affiliation? Is it a big part of your life? When you were growing up, did your family belong to a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque?

Do you currently practice a different religion from the one in which you were raised? Do you believe in life after death? Does your religion impose any behavioral restrictions dietary, social, familial, sexual that would affect your partner? Do you consider yourself a religious person? Do you engage in spiritual practices outside of organized religion? How important is it to you for your partner to share your religious beliefs?

How important is it to you for your children to be raised in your religion? Is spirituality a part of your daily life and practice?

Has religion or spiritual practice ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship? Does popular culture have an important impact on your life? Do you spend time reading about, watching, or discussing actors, musicians, models, or other celebrities? Do you think most celebrities have a better, more exciting life than you do? By the way, if they do, maybe it's because they are living their lives, while you are watching them live their lives.

Are you wasting the opportunity and gift to live your own life? Do you regularly go to the movies, or do you prefer to rent movies and watch them at home? What is your favorite style of music? Do you attend concerts featuring your favorite musicians? Do you enjoy going to museums or art shows? Do you like to dance? Do you like to watch TV for entertainment? Have attitudes or behaviors around popular culture ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

What is your idea of a fun day? Do you enjoy spectator sports? Are certain seasons off-limits for other activities because of football, baseball, basketball, or other sports? How important is it to you that you and your partner enjoy the same leisure activities? How much money do you regularly spend on leisure activities?

Do you enjoy activities that might make your partner uncomfortable, such as hanging out in bars drinking, going to strip clubs, or gambling? Have leisure time issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

Is it important for you to attend social events regularly, or does the prospect rarely appeal to you? Do you look forward to at least one night out every week, or do you prefer to enjoy yourself at home?

Does your work involve attending social functions? If so, are these occasions a burden or a pleasure? Do you expect your spouse to be present, or do you prefer that your spouse not be present? Or do you socialize with a diverse mix of people? Have differences about socializing ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship? Which if any holidays do you believe are the most important to celebrate?

Do you maintain a family tradition around certain holidays? How important are birthday celebrations to you? Do you enjoy traveling, or are you a homebody?

Are vacation getaways an important part of your yearly planning? How much of your annual income do you designate for vacation and travel expenses? Do you have favorite vacation destinations?