Relationships: Can't have your cake and eat it too? - guyQ by AskMen
This week, I was on the phone with a client who came to me eight weeks ago with no dating prospects whatsoever. But armed with a new perspective on dating. It sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too-both no-strings-attached sex and romantic/dating relationships with a number of women. Obviously once you've eaten your cake, you won't have it any more. Used for Get a you can't have your cake and eat it too mug for your mate Larisa. 2. You can't you have a gorgeous girlfriend whom only others enjoy in bed. you enjoy .
We have so much in common traveling, values, etc.
He had ended his relationship with his ex prior to our meeting, and told me that they were just friends. I found out 8 months after meeting him that she still comes over periodically to perform a kinky sexual favor for him.
He does not want me out of his life. He states that I have wonderful qualities that he cannot find in his ex. He still wants us to continue our plans. He states that since he and his ex have had a history together for about 7 years, he can not abandon her.
Having Your Cake and Eating It Too - Shepherd Express
I am just trying to be patient, not overly jealous and hope that this really is going to end soon in my favor. Can he still be in love with her? Will he later make up his mind that the history with her is stronger?
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Or is he really sincere that we have a future and she will be out of the picture soon? She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort.How To Deal With Jealousy In A CASUAL RELATIONSHIP
Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only. There is no way any women I date near my own age can possibly compete. I'm happy having my platonic girlfriends and a prostitute on the side.
There's nothing wrong with seeing a sex worker aside from obvious legal issues and the fact that it sounds like she's worth a lot more than you're paying her. There's also nothing wrong with having close nonsexual relationships with women.
You can't have your cake and eat it too
What's wrong with this situation is your dishonesty and your assumptions about what women want out of sexual relationships. When you say that you tell female friends that you "don't believe in sex before marriage," it sounds to me like you are implying that marriage might be a future possibility in order to get these friends to invest in an emotional relationship with you. You say that you aren't interested in serious relationships right now, but bringing marriage into the picture when talking with your female friends paints a very different picture.
You don't have to be having sex with someone in order for that person to develop strong feelings for you and perhaps want an exclusive relationship. So, one level of dishonesty that appears to be at work here is that you are leading women that you are dating to falsely believe that you are interested in a future long-term, sexual relationship with them.
If you are letting people know that you're not interested in long-term relationships right now, that's somewhat better; then your friends know to expect neither serious commitment nor sex with you. I urge you and others in similar situations to be upfront with dating partners about the level of commitment you're able to give. There's a second layer of dishonesty involved in saying that you don't believe in sex before marriage. Since you are in fact having sex right now, you misrepresent both your values and your actions.
Relationships: Can't have your cake and eat it too?
Stating that you believe that sex should happen only in the context of a long-term, monogamous relationship is a pretty strong ideological statement, one that appears to be the exact opposite of how you actually feel about sex. To me, that is as serious a lie as the one you tell when you say you're not having sex even though you have an ongoing relationship with a sex worker.
You make a sweeping statement that sex ruins relationships because women like exclusivity. Not all women or men are looking for an exclusive sexual relationship. I would argue that when it comes to sexual relationships, people want to be able to make informed choices. They want to know what the parameters of their relationships with other people are: Is this going to be short-term or long-term?