Foggy Friends is a support and information website for sufferers of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), Chronic Fatigue Immune. Apr 17, Dating is, of course, is very problematic with ME/CFS/FM. Finding a partner who understands and accepts one's needs to pull back at times - to. May 12, My partner listed my chronic fatigue syndrome as a reason not to be with me. But my illness is not who I am.
If you met me now, you would have no idea just how ill I had been. The condition is often triggered by a infection, followed by the appearance of a range of symptoms including extreme fatigue, muscle pain, memory problems, insomnia, allergies, severe neurological impairments and seizures. Your physical and mental activity become seriously reduced, and the condition is exacerbated by any infections, traumas, emotional or physical stresses.
You become highly sensitive to your environment, and easily overloaded by external stimuli. I remember feeling like that, and how hard I worked to become independent and self-sufficient.
To have a social life, a career and relationships. I thought I was keeping my ME from affecting the people closest to me, but suddenly there we were in the kitchen, as my partner listed it as a reason not to be with me.
CFS, FM and Dating: A Personal Story | ME/CFS & Fibromyalgia Self-Help
I felt completely blind-sided. So what had happened? Why were they now frustrated by the limitations they felt ME had placed on their own lives, by the fact I could walk to the cinema, but had to get the bus back? Worse, why had my loving, caring partner suddenly fixated on the one thing I hated about myself, and could not change?
Perhaps this is a symptom of modern relationships. We are told to believe we deserve the best for ourselves, to make sure we do not settle for anything less than perfect, and that when we meet someone they must fulfil every single criteria we set for our romantic destiny. When did we lose the capacity to love someone for their imperfections, as much as for what we think is perfect? I never accepted invitations out. It became so draining to be around people and pretend I was fine that I found it was far easier to isolate myself.
Opening up to them and sharing my experience has been one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced. The friends I have now are the friends who will pick me up off the floor on the bad days and drink wine with me on the good days. They accept me because I finally accepted myself. I take time for myself.
I go away on trips alone.WEEK 20 - GOING ON A DATE WITH CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME (M.E)
I exit the daily grind of my work, my relationship and my life to give my body a break. I have come to accept this is lifelong. I am not alone.
Everyone has their struggles and this is mine. Ultimately, I know though that in order to show up for my relationship with my partner, I have to be willing to show up for myself.
To show my weaknesses. There is a beautiful power in having the courage to show up as our whole, unfiltered self.
A strength I have found that makes my love unique. I meet countless men and women who tell me how hard their illness is on their relationship. Who feel the enormity of the guilt and the shame which only adds fuel to any illness. And also, and most impressively, I meet partners who stay and show up.
They ultimately know no one is perfect and your illness is also your badass superpower. Your sensitivity is what makes you wonderful.
These partners process with each other when it all gets too hard and I see them taking responsibility for themselves and their emotions that come up. I see couples who show up every day. Some days are easy and beautiful. Some days suck big time. I now see my chronic fatigue as my wonderwoman strength.
ME/CFS: Managing Chronic Fatigue and Being in a Relationship | The Mighty
The sun that shines out of my ass. The very thing that has hurt me has become my friend because it has forced me to stop and care for myself in a whole new way.
So where does this leave me? I am fighting for my life. Fighting for my body.
A Dating / Get Together Site for ME/CFS and FM ?
Fighting for my love. All I can do is show up every day and make the choice to accept the challenge I have been given. Fair or not, it is mine.
If he loves me — he will choose to accept this challenge too.