I have plenty of brilliant friends and I even had a three-year relationship with a super smart guy. However, there are a few reasons I could never date someone. So when on occasion I date a REALLY smart man for a while I often get nervous ' cause I figure he can out-maneuver me every time ('cause he's more head than. You're a smart, accomplished woman who wants to attract smart men, right? If you think they don't want to date you because of your smarts think again.
In the next two versions of the study, men interacted with a woman who was in cahoots with the researchers who either performed better or worse on an intelligence test than they did. After the participants met the woman, took the test while seated next to her and heard both of their scores read aloud, male participants were asked to move their chair across from the woman's chair. They were then told to take a survey about their first impressions of the other -- specifically, how attractive and desirable they found each other.
The researchers looked at the distance between the two chairs as a measure of how attracted the man was to the woman. Men who were partnered with a woman who scored higher on the intelligence test felt the need to physically distance themselves from her when moving their chairs.
They also tended to rate her as less attractive and desirable to date than men who interacted with a woman who scored worse than they had. The last two experiments got even more nuanced by looking at the way men rated their own masculinity.
Why Do Smart Guys Have A Tough Time Dating? | HuffPost Life
In the fifth version, men were either told there was a woman in the room next door, or they were seated face-to-face with a woman again, in cahoots with the researchers.
They then took an intelligence test side-by-side and were told their scores aloud. The men were told that the woman either scored higher or lower than them on the test no matter how well they did.
Finally, participants filled out a survey measuring how much they related to various stereotypically masculine qualities and how interested they were in the woman romantically. The sixth and last version of the study repeated the procedure of the fifth, but the men in the study saw the woman for a few minutes in person at the beginning of the study though they didn't interact with her.
The Findings The last two versions of the study found that men were less interested in dating and interacting with a smarter woman when she was face-to-face with them. However, in the fifth study, when she was "psychologically distant" supposedly in the next roomthere was no difference in men's desire to date or interact with her no matter how well she scored on the test compared to them. In fact, the men who never saw the woman showed a "marginal tendency" to want to interact with a woman who was hypothetically smarter.
Men also felt less masculine when they were faced with a smarter woman sitting next to them than when they never saw said smarter woman. The Takeaway This study sheds light on one reason dating is so complicated: We don't always know what we want, even if we think we do. Be comfortable in your own skin. You're a science geek?
You love computers, baseball cards, classical music, anime? You're a horny little devil? People only love us for who you are, not who we pretend to be. I know it's fashionable amidst the smart set to be dissatisfied with yourself and to keep striving for more, bigger, best.
However, women will tell you that there's nothing more attractive in a man than self-acceptance which is not the same as complacency. So start where you are, and keep on growing. When you accept yourself, the world accepts you. Accept the nonlinearity of women and romance. As guys, a lot of what we did in physics and math class was to try to straighten crooked stuff out. Model it with an equation.9 QUESTIONS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD ASK A MAN WHILE DATING - Periscope Session by RC BLAKES
Do a linear regression. But you know what? They were all approximations anyway. And most things in life don't follow linear equations - not your breath, not your heartbeat, not your Apple stock, and most certainly not women and romance. So don't come and tell me that women don't make sense to you.
Unlike thermodynamics, women are not intuitively obvious. Sometimes she'll come to you when you ignore her and leave when you declare your undying love - deal with it. Women have curves -- that's why we like 'em. Love is paradoxical and counterintuitive. Realize that and work with it, not against it.
Quit trying to buy your way into a woman's favor. This is how it works in the movies: Of the two dozen reasons I can think for why this protocol sucks, here's one: And bribes don't work! They're given before the desired behavior has ever happened, so she has no incentive to like you. In fact, many times it has the opposite effect: That increases the frequency of that behavior in the future.
Why Do Smart Guys Have A Tough Time Dating?
When you give the positive reinforcer before the desirable behavior, you reinforce nothing. So you're increasing the likelihood of getting - nothing. Quit thinking girls should like you because you're smart. A smart guy values smarts above all - and thinks the rest of the world does, too. But those lugs probably think Hubble is some kind of gum and Perl scripts are oyster recipes!
How could she possibly choose them over him? Well, it just doesn't work that way, my friend.
A woman will like you based on how you you make her feel. So make her feel stuff - preferably good stuff. That's the essence of it.
Why Do Beautiful, Smart Women Date Stupid Guys?
Write that down, engrave it on a plaque, tattoo it on your forehead backwards so you'll read it every time you brush your teeth in the morning. It's like, axiomatic, dude. Go get rejected - a lot. Smart people are used to success, not failure. So they're reluctant to risk social rejection.
Why Do Beautiful, Smart Women Date Stupid Guys? - AskMen
But if you're not getting rejected, that means you're not out exposing yourself to danger, the crucible in which manhood gets forged. So be a man -- get out there and get turned down. Even if your success rate's a measly 10 percent, after asking a mere 10 women out, you'll have yourself a date. Fortune favors the bold. Allow yourself to be pursued a little. Evolution decrees that in the Homo sapiens sapiens mating dance, the male pursues and the female is pursued.
But let up every once in a while.