Medicated Pete Has a Girlfriend | Howard Stern
Medicated Pete Sells a Car - The Howard Stern Show .. “Nice to see you again, ” it said to Jason Kaplan before cracking a few jokes about . he said he's spending time with his girlfriend, whom he's been dating for a year. 12/23/ am; THoHS:A3 - More Fines From The FCC. 12/23/ . Artie Lange Asked To Take Time Off By SIRIUS Management. 12/14/ am; 80 .. 11/20/ am; Best Of The Week - Medicated Pete Dating Game. 11/20/09 . Play next; Play now. HOWARD STERN: Fine Time with Medicated Pete. by The Howard Stern Show. Language: English; Location: United States.
She said she has lost all sexual interest in men. Howard said now she gets into it about imagining having a penis. Bree was whispering about it because it's so hard to talk about. Howard said she's freaking out. Howard said this is a new revelation for her.
Howard played more of Bree talking about how she had to imagine to have a dick and she was getting jacked off to cum. She said that's what made her cum. Then she gets into it about transitioning. Bree said she's not a lesbian, she's a straight male.
Howard said that's big news if she does that. Howard said she talks a lot for a man. Howard said she'd have to knock all of that off if she becomes a man.
Howard said she's whispering because she's at a funeral for her tits. Howard played more of Bree talking about not messing with her vagina but she would chop off her tits. She said she just wants to be androgynous. Howard did his impression of Bree whispering about Benjy and his tits. Howard took a call from a guy who asked what's going on. Howard whispered as Bree Olson and told him he doesn't wipe his ass well because he's a guy and he doesn't care. He said guys are disgusting. Howard told the caller he used to take baths more but now he's a man and he doesn't wipe.
Howard said she also has a bigger cock than Howard Stern already. Howard said when these girls become dudes they don't go all the way. He said they should have a smelly ass. Robin said she did say she's going to keep her lady parts.
The caller asked about Dr. Keith being on last year saying that these are mental disorders and a mental psychosis. Howard said he doesn't know anything about it. Robin said they just want people to be happy. Howard said go be happy and who cares. The caller kept talking about it so Howard cut him off and said he has to end this.
She was making the point that she shouldn't have to disclose that if she feels like a woman. Robin said that equality is when you don't have to disclose something like that. He said that's too heady for him. He said you just tell. Howard did more of his Bree whispering and said she's going to grow really saggy balls.
Howard said he's not sure if his balls are saggy. Howard said he never studied them in the past. Sour Shoes' Crazy Job Interview. Howard said Sour Shoes either works at Roy Rogers or used to work there. Howard said the guy is kind of weird when he comes up there. Howard said he was telling one of the guys that he was looking for a job at McDonald's and they called him saying that they were the manager from McDonald's.
Howard said Sour does not know it's them. Howard said they called him about his resume. Howard said there's no way he can get a job acting like he does in the clip. Howard played a clip of them calling Sour. Sour picks up and does a voice acting like it's not him.
Sour does his baby voice and makes weird noises. Then he does his Gary ''Noine'' thing a bunch of times in the clip. They asked him about what he did at Roy Rogers and all of that. Sour was doing a weird voice telling the guy about what he did there at Roy Rogers. He kept making odd noises and kept doing different voices.
He did his Artie voice and more. The guy interviewing him asked why he was doing it and Sour just acted like it was a normal thing. Howard said this is why he doesn't work. Howard said the guys told him that Sour had no idea it was them. He said he thought for sure he knew. Howard played another clip of the guy interviewing Sour and Sour kept making weird noises. Then he started playing music. Robin said ''Oh come on. Howard said he did and he thinks he just doesn't want the job.
Sour did his Gary impression after that. The manager asked him to stop playing music. Howard played more of the audio of Sour doing his thing with the fake manager. Sour kept doing the same crazy shit he does when he calls Howard. He was singing, doing impressions and making weird noises. Howard said Sour swears he didn't know it was them.
Howard played some audio of them asking Sour if he knew. Sour swore he didn't. Howard said that's his real job interview. Howard said they didn't let him cook anything at Roy Rogers.
He said he's not sure how he got hired there. Howard said he couldn't believe that clip. Robin said she's thinking of him at the Drive Thru at Roy Rogers singing to customers. Howard said he was reading about that and how they say Ozzy was carrying on with a personal hair stylist who is like 22 years younger.
Howard said that he read that Sharon kicked him out. Howard said he's not sure what to believe there. Howard said he's a lot closer to Sharon than he is with Ozzy even though he loves Ozzy. Howard said he's not sure they'd make him choose.
Howard said he does have a better relationship with Sharon. Howard said he'd probably have to pick her. Howard said that he'd still have Ozzy as a guest though. Howard said he'd never stop having Ozzy on as a guest. Howard said he'd still have dinner with Sharon though. Howard said he would hang out with Ozzy too. He said he'd hang out with whoever wants to hang out with him. Howard said he was close with Rebecca and John Stamos and then they divorced. Howard said Rebecca thought they were closer to John and he didn't hear from her.
Howard said he wrote to her and asked why he doesn't hear from her. She thought it was because they picked John. Howard said he loves John but why can't he know her too? Howard said that something came out that kind of bothered him. He said there was an article on RadarOnline about him ripping Kelly Ripa on air.
Howard said he made comments about her on air and in no way did he ''rip'' Kelly Ripa. Howard said he explained what management can do to talent and he talked about how you can't let them get to you and walk off the show.
Howard said she should be pissed off that management did this to her. Howard said he would have advised her not to walk off. Howard said that isn't ripping someone.
Robin said she thinks they were just looking for a clever headline. Howard said that what he is offering is solid advice. Howard said he didn't rip anyone. He said that he was coming from a living place with that. Howard said he's been through a lot with management. He said that he never walked off the show. Howard said he understands why she did what she did.
Robin said she was emotional. Howard said he would have advised her not to do that though. Howard said she can bring it up on the air but don't walk off. Howard said that's what she had to do 4 days later anyway. Robin said she had to do that because she was missing in action. Howard said there are times when he does rip someone. He said he did give Roger Waters a good ripping.
Howard said the headline is misleading. The caller said that Howard was mentioned in the NY Times too. Howard said that was in a Trump article. Howard said that they keep using quotes from this show from 15 years ago. Howard said it's kind of weird to him because it was a playful thing back then. Howard said he would just get into the whole thing and go along with it. The caller said they're trying to make Trump look shitty but it makes Howard look shitty. Howard said he doesn't think so.
He said it's just weird to him because Trump was just playing along with what they were doing. Howard said they haven't even brought up that Hillary rode the Sybian in Howard said he felt it was just playful stuff. Howard said there is a way that you can make anything from the show look bad if you take it out of context.
Howard said a caller asked what he would have advised Kelly Ripa. He said he gave his thoughts on that and he didn't rip her. Howard said she should have gone right on the air and called management fucking assholes.
Howard said she has fuck you money and she could have done that. Howard said she could have gone on air and talked about what was going on. Robin said they do a lot of things tongue in cheek and they could have handled it like that. Howard said Kelly had a scheduled vacation anyway so she just had to show up for one day to do that.
Howard said they went to a Monster Truck show and asked some people some questions. Howard played a clip of a guy talking about how he named his car the N-word.
Howard said he not only named his truck but his wife too. The guy said he's on parole. He said his nicknames for his wife are bitch, nag and other cruel names like that. He said she became a class A bitch when he married her. Howard said Richard told him that his neighbors had a pet cat named the N-word. Howard asked how you can name your cat or car that word and not think you're racist.
Robin said some people don't have that connection to the word and they don't know it's offensive. Howard played another clip of a guy at the truck show talking about hybrid trucks being gay.
He made a joke about hybrid cars driving by and saying ''I'm a fag'' as it drives by. The guy also had some thoughts on abortion.
Howard said Anderson Cooper was on air and said ''Noine''. Howard played that clip and Anderson accidentally started to say ''Noine'' but stopped himself and said ''nine.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he called the operator for a number the other day and the operator asked ''Is this Jeff? Howard asked who uses information anymore. Howard said you can look up the number on the web. Jeff said he doesn't know. Howard said either that or you're just lazy. Jeff said he was calling the eye glass place. Jeff said the guy said he's a big fan. He even said ''Chello. Robin said she thinks Jeff won this time.
Howard played a song parody about Jeff and how he should hang up on him. Howard played a phony phone call phony Arnold Schwarzenegger made to an internet radio show. They went to break after that. As they went to break they played an ass wiping tip from Big Foot and a phony phone call Sal made to a restaurant having Gary play trumpet to place an order.
They also played a Mick the Nerd picking up chicks tip. They played a Baba Booey song parody they were coming back. Howard came back and said that Maury Povich is there. Howard said Maury hosts the Maury show.
Medicated Pete Has a Girlfriend
Howard said he has his th episode coming up. Howard said it's in syndication. Howard said that's not easy to pull off. Howard asked how long it's been since he was on the show. Maury said he was on at K-Rock. He said he wishes he worked there. Maury said his son in law saw Robin. He said that's Dr. Howard said that Maury does a lot of DNA testing on his show. He said that they did some testing with the staff.
He said they swabbed a bunch of the guys and they're going to prank Sal. He's not hearing this. Howard said they're going to tell Sal that he's not Italian and he's more Middle Eastern. Howard said in a couple of seconds he's going to tell the staff to listen to this. He said that they'll bring Sal in to talk about his abnormal results.
Howard said Sal is going to go nuts because he's so Italian. Howard said that everyone thinks he's Middle Eastern. Howard had the guys bring Sal out.
Howard said Maury has had 3 syndicated shows in a row. Maury said he's been doing it 30 years. He said he had the Maury Povich Show and now Maury. Howard said he wants to talk about the DNA testing that they did. Howard asked if they found anything odd.
Maury said everyone tested out normal pretty much. He said they found that most people tested the way they expected. He said that's all but one. He said what they found might be interesting to some. Maury said Sal was a little different than the rest of the staff. Howard had Sal come in and Maury said that this is Sal said he better not be Middle Eastern.
Maury said they go through a whole thing on the show and you can go back in your heritage for centuries. Howard said Sal's mother is Italian. Sal said his parents are both from Italy. Maury said that some people might try to coat things over. Maury said that his people are not from Italy. He said they're from Tunisia. He said it's from a cast called the Tauregs who are Middle Eastern. Howard said Sal gets stopped at the airport all the time. Sal said that it's every time.
Maury said that the lowest of the low are called the Eclans and they are the slaves. He said that it goes farther back than that and he's actually Suni.
Sal said he doesn't want to hear this. Maury said this doesn't lie. Sal said he wants another test. Howard said that Sal's family believes they are Italian.
Howard asked if it's a bad thing. Sal said he is not Middle Eastern. He said that he's not Suni. He said he's percent Italian. Howard asked if it's possible that his parents weren't aware of this. Maury said of course. He said they weren't told by their ancestors. Maury said he is the lowest of the low and the family were slaves.
Howard said he didn't know the results and he knows Sal gets upset by this but who gives a shit. Howard asked why he would care. Sal said he would love to be Polish but this whole Middle Eastern thing is what's wrong.
Gary said Sal is the terrorist and Sal is the one calling him one all the time. Howard said he loves this because it's like Maury's show when people go bonkers. Maury said they run off the stage and run into the back.
Sal said he will tell his kids this is a script and he wrote it out. Howard said it's a DNA test. Sal said he doesn't give a shit. Maury said that this stuff doesn't lie.
He said that this company has done 10, tests and they've never been wrong. Howard said that Sal can still say he's Italian but he's really Middle Eastern. Howard said he's a Suni. Howard asked if they're Muslim. He said that Iran is Shia. Maury said the people at the TSA listen to the show so he'll have to identify himself. Howard said Trump is going to get rid of Sal when he's president. Howard asked why his people don't like the Shiite's. Sal said he has no idea. Howard said everyone knew he was Middle Eastern.
Maury said they'll test Sal again if he wants. Sal said he's not Middle Eastern. Robin said that Sal will calm down and he'll accept this. Howard said Gary was full Italian, right? Maury said he was. Sal said his tests are fucked up.
He said there is no way Gary is percent Italian. He said Gary is closer to wearing a turban than he is.
Howard said he can't waste more of Maury's time. Howard said Sal is Middle Eastern. Sal said his cousin took a test a few weeks ago and she's 25 percent Middle Eastern. He said he thought it was the other side of the family. Sal said he can't be tied to this.
Howard said they know that Sal isn't cheering for the terrorists or anything. Howard said Sal has been stopped by so many people thinking he's Middle Eastern. Sal said that he's been offered free coffee at Indian places. He said that he won't be part of that. Maury said now he has to explain it to his in-laws. Howard said he's going to have to explain it to his father too. Howard said Sal is going to have to change his life.
Howard said he's been fooling himself for years. Howard said that he has really uncovered something here. Howard asked Sal if he finds it weird that his neighborhood is Middle Eastern. Howard said it's like he's attracted to it and he's drawn to that neighborhood. Sal said he was drawn there by his salary. Maury said that he probably has a lot of police presence there. Robin asked if he likes Humus.
Sal said he does. Howard said Maury has a nice way of breaking this stuff to people. Maury said the humor is when you prove it to someone and they still don't believe you.
Robin said a few weeks from now Sal will be walking around with a prayer rug. Robin said he'll be full Muslim. Howard said he thinks it's great. Howard asked if Sal thought he was Middle Eastern. Sal said he did question it. He said that doesn't mean he was or is now. Robin said the DNA proves it. Sal said he is American and Italian. He said he isn't Middle Eastern. Maury said there is the way you were raised and there is genetics. Howard said culture can lie but genetics don't lie.
Sal said he has to take a break and sit down. Maury said he should go phone home. Howard said he should go face east to Mecca. Howard told Sal to come back and get on the microphone. Howard said he has to talk him down. Howard had Maury tell Sal it was a bit. Sal asked why they do this to him. Maury said he's never been able to tell anyone that. He said he's never been able to say it's a gag. Sal had to sit down next to Maury. Sal said he's all fucked up from this.
He was near tears. Sal said he's so happy he's Italian. Howard said maybe he really is Middle Eastern. Howard said Sal was really bummed. Howard said this is racism in a way. Howard asked if DNA can prove he's an idiot. Maury said no but a lie detector test could. Howard said the Muslims are saying that was a close call for them.
Howard told Sal to get out. Maury laughed and said that was the best. Howard got back to Maury and talked about how long he's been on the air. Maury said there have been 75 talk shows in the grave since he started in He said that he's still going. Maury said back then it was Phil Donahue and Oprah and Geraldo.
He said the last show, the th, they did the DNA thing. Howard said when he breaks the news to people that they are the father they can go back to that over and over again. Maury said the biggest reaction is when they're not the father. Maury said in the first DNA test show they did he didn't want to know the results until the show was being recorded. Maury said he's with everyone else on when they find out. Howard asked Maury if they told him they wanted a DNA show would he have done it.
Maury said no way. He said they did the DNA shows and they took off pretty quickly. He said if he does DNA, lie detector test and out of control teens then they do that all month for sweeps. He said those are the three themes that hit the mark. Howard said that other shows have tried to do his show. Maury said it's like people trying to do Howard and Robin. He said that it doesn't work. Maury said he has no idea what it is about his show that works but somehow there is a connection.
Howard said Maury looks the part of the credible anchorman. Howard said he has a certain demeanor and it gives the show credibility. Maury said they think of him as an older uncle or something. He said maybe they think he knows the world better than they do. Howard asked if he's obsessed with ratings. Maury said not anymore. He said he used to be. He said there is a certain loyalty with the fans.
Howard asked if he still likes the notoriety. Maury said if he's on 5 times a week and no one knows who you are then you've got a problem. Howard asked if they have heavy security on the show when they do the DNA results.
Maury said they do have people freak out and throw chairs and stuff. He said it's a pretty serious thing. He said they're finding out if they're the father or not. Maury said he did a Media movie once and he knew every move that the women make when they get upset. Howard asked if Maury is tired of doing the show. Maury said every story is unique in some way and he loves it. Howard asked when they tape. Maury said they do 5 shows a week for 27 weeks a year or so. He said they tape 2 or 3 for a couple of days a week.
Howard asked who competes with him. Maury said that he's been number 1 since Oprah left the air. He said that Dr. Phil competes with him. Howard said Maury tapes out of Connecticut. Howard asked what he thought when Geraldo dropped out. Maury said he did that voluntarily.
He said Geraldo gave him great advice. He said he told him he has to be in shape and mentally alert.
He said he was right. Maury said he wanted to go down another path and do news. Howard asked how old Maury is. Maury said he's Howard asked if he thinks about retirement at all. Maury said he does but it's so popular that NBC just sold it for 2 more years.
Howard said Maury was married to Connie Chung who was a news woman. Maury said she's very happy that she's out of it. He said that she's on some boards and she's writing a book now. Howard asked Maury about his father who was a sports columnist. Howard said he was a big deal. Maury said he worked in the same building as Howard did back in Washington DC. Howard said his dad was a big deal sports writer and Maury wanted to be a broadcaster.
He wanted to do sports. Maury said he did start at WWDC and he did the first 10 o'clock news in He said he got tired of sports when he asked a coach what was in a big bottle of pills and the guy said ''Are you with us or against us?
Howard asked if Maury is still a sports fan. Maury said he is. He plays golf 4 days a week. He said he has a home on Cape Cod and one in Montana so he has his group in both places.
Maury said he and George Bush used to play together. Howard asked Maury about cheating in golf and how that got started. Maury said that you should call it on yourself if you do. He said if you see someone doing it in a tournament you turn them in. He said in social golf you don't play with the person again. He said Bush was very honest and he was very fast.
Maury said Bush was in the White House and he once said to him he was on the treadmill watching his show and he asked how he does the show with a straight face. Maury said he asked him how he does the things he had to do as President with a straight face. Howard asked Maury if he talked politics with Bush. Maury said he never did. He said he'd talk to him about the pistol that was given to him after it was taken off of Saddam Hussein.
He said he was very proud of that. Howard asked if he's still in touch with Bush. Maury said he has been invited to play golf in Dallas. He said he stays in contact with him but not all that much.
Maury said that he has a golf trainer that he's been working with for 28 years now. He said his wife bought him lessons and he hasn't stopped. He said his wife thought he was a golf god 28 years ago but now she thinks he's the golf devil. He said any woman who marries a man who is into golf should know about how that can happen. Howard said he played once and it took him 4 hours to get past 3 holes.
Maury said certain people get the disease. Howard said it's ridiculous putting that ball into a hole. Howard said if you think about how much time you put into it you could learn to play guitar and become Prince. Howard asked Maury if he's a drinker. Maury said he doesn't play wet. Howard said that Maury about going to the University of Pennsylvania. Maury said he got in because he had good test scores. He went there for 5 years. He was 1 credit short of graduating. Maury said he asked the dean if he wanted him around another semester to get the credit for gym.
He said they ended up waiving it. Howard said back then you needed a college degree to get a job in TV. Maury said he had jobs all over the country and he would make comments under his breath and he'd get fired.
Howard asked where he got fired. Maury said that he got fired in L. He said he had a big problem with management in Chicago.
He said they wanted him to go from the evening news back to the afternoon news. He didn't want to do that. He said he was supposed to do the evening news. Maury said he went to San Francisco and the lead anchorman didn't like him. Howard said imagine that. Maury said that guy might be toes up.
He said his Van Amburg. Maury said that guy had done the news for years and years. Maury said that he was told what to wear and things like that at these jobs. He said this is why he went into talk.
Howard asked Maury about how he got into A Current Affair. He said they hired him to do it. Howard said that Connie used to be a big news woman so did she look down on what he did. Maury said she looked at him and said at least his personality was coming out. He said it seeped into every newscast after that. He said it went into all kinds of news programs. He said the stuff they used to put in the trash basket was now their lead story.
Howard said Maury met his wife while they were co-anchoring in Los Angeles. Maury said he was fired so it wasn't a big deal that they got together. Howard said everyone wanted Connie.
Howard said he used to see her at NBC. Howard said she was the hottest. Howard said Maury got her. Maury said for now. Howard said Letterman used to goof on him.
Maury said he would call him Murray or Marty and he would never put him on the show. He said that Connie would fill in for guests all the time when they would cancel. He said Letterman thought A Current Affair was trash. He said he still gets that from people to this day.
Howard said now they are celebrating the 3,th episode of The Maury Show. Robin asked who has the highest number of return trips to the show. Maury said they have one woman who has been on 17 times. He said she has 6 kids and has found the fathers for 3. Howard said things have gotten politically correct and they can't do the fat baby bit anymore. Maury said that South Park did an unbelievable parody of him on the show.
He said that they don't do it anymore. Howard asked Maury about the transgender thing. Maury said that they could do that. Maury asked what a true transgender is. He asked if they have to go through the full thing. Howard and Robin said no. Howard said he thinks a guy should have tits. Howard said it's so confusing to him.
Maury said he's just ''whatever'' with the whole thing. He said the whole bathroom thing is ridiculous. Howard said the ratings for some shows just aren't there but the DNA testing thing is getting the ratings. Maury said that the other stuff is fine for YouTube but not for TV. Howard asked if it was true that David Letterman wouldn't talk to him when he was at his Christmas parties.
Maury said that is true but his producer Morty would talk to him and he was an intern on his show. Howard said Maury can say fuck you to people who don't like what he does. Maury said that Fallon and Kimmel do bits about him on their shows but they've never had him on.
Howard asked if he would go on. Maury said he would. He said he's not sure if they look down on him. He thinks that Kimmel would have him on. Howard said he must be upset. Maury said he's not. He said Leno used to do stuff with him.
Howard said that Maury calls this reality TV. Maury said he thinks that they were the first realty show out there. Howard said that Maury owns a ranch in Montana. Maury said it's not a ranch but it is a home. Howard asked if he started a newspaper out there. Maury said he did. He said he and his wife did that. He said he's not too involved with it because the kids who are running it are doing a great job. Robin asked where in Montana he lives because that's where David Letterman works.
Maury said that Dave asked Jack Hannah where to live in Montana and Jack told him not to go because it's the worst weather. Dave thought it was great so that's where he went. Maury said he lives next to Jack Hannah but Dave doesn't live near them. Howard asked Maury about Dave's beard. He said he thinks Dave might be trying to disappear like Johnny Carson.
He said Carson is his hero for disappearing like he did. Maury said he wants to do the same thing when he's done with his show. Howard asked Maury how much longer he thinks he has doing the show. Maury said he's not sure how much longer he can go. He said do the math. Maury said he has a great son in law who helps him out. He said all the indications are that he had some outer edges of emphysema but other than that he has no issues.
He said he quit smoking 15 years ago. Howard said Geraldo was on the show recently and said that anyone over the age of 30 who hasn't used Viagra is lying. Maury said he's never had to use it.
Howard said he's erect right now. Howard said he had sex with his wife on Saturday night and masturbated on Sunday. Maury said Sundays are a good day for him.
Howard asked if he has had any plastic surgery. He said he had a melanoma removed but he doesn't count that. Howard said fuck everybody. He said it's fantastic that he's done 3, episodes. Howard said it's not 60 minutes but it's a fun talk show.
Howard said Maury is still in the game and he' seen them all come and go. Howard asked Maury what he thinks about the Kelly Ripa thing. Maury said he was quoted. He said that the two divas should get out of their cages and be happy they have an audience. He said that the only problem he had with Kelly was not coming to work.
Howard said that's what he was saying too. Maury said he heard that she got that advice from Andy Cohen. Howard said she should have come to him. Howard and Maury agree that she has a contract and she has to show up for work no matter what. Howard gave Maury some plugs for the 3,th episode and said it was great to see him again. Maury said it was good to see them too. He said he was kept in a box and wasn't allowed to do anything.
Howard did his impression of his mother telling him not to do anything. Robin said she was wondering why no one ever picked up on him doing another movie. Howard said he was offered one recently and it would be a big movie but he turned it down. Howard said he almost did it. He said he was going to do a crew cut kind of look too. He said he was talking to the director and writer about it. He said the part would have been interesting.
He said he was hanging out at home and painting and then he thought about it. He said Beth told him to think about how he was having so much fun hanging out and she was right.
Howard said he can't do it. Howard said he hasn't actually seen the script though. He said he might change his mind. Howard said it's a whole thing. Howard said if he does it he'll give them as many days as they need. Robin said he might have to give up a day to do that stuff like a Thursday. Howard said he can't do Thursday. He said he can do Friday. Howard said he now understands how precious time is.
Howard said Robin must think about that after her cancer thing. Robin said she doesn't procrastinate now. Howard said it would be fun to be in a relationship with Robin and tell her to get over here.
Howard said she'd come running over. Howard told her not to bring that up. JD told him it was called John Wick. Howard said there's a training video of him where he's shooting and he's very competitive. He said he has to run through a course and he's completely trained in weapons. He said he does the course really fast. Howard said he also manufactures motorcycles. Howard said he's very manly. He said he'd never fuck with that guy.
Howard said he liked that John Wick movie. JD said he hasn't seen it yet. He said they are doing a sequel. Howard said that's good. Howard said he really likes that Luke Cage Netflix show. Robin said she doesn't think she'd like it. Fred said it takes maybe 4 episodes to get really good. Howard asked if anyone is watching ''Westworld.
Howard said he's totally hooked on it. Robin said she's not sure she can get into this Quarry show he's watching. Howard said it's good. Robin said she watched one episode and she felt like it was beating her down. Howard said Gotham is really good and the guy who plays Penguin is coming in for a few minutes. Howard asked Jon Hein how he gets his TV shows because he has that Pix box thing but he has to fast forward through everything. Howard said he has a whole page of ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' stuff.
Howard said there was a lot going on at the Ryder cup. Howard said there are so many ''Hit 'em with the Hein'' clips. He played one where they were talking about Trump and his comments on the Howard Stern Show and someone mentioned Lester Hold hitting 'em with the Hein. Howard asked if the Penguin is there. Jon said he thinks he is. Howard said this guy is the best Penguin ever. Howard asked what his name is. Jon said he's Robin Lord Taylor. Howard said fans of comic book shows are saying that he is like a fully realized character.
Howard said he's really good. Howard said he wants to say hello to him but he should take a break first. Howard said he has so much going on today. They went to break after Howard did a live commercial read. Howard came back and said he has Robin Lord Taylor coming in. Howard said he's on the TV show Gotham. Howard said it's weird to see him as a normal person. Howard said he's like ''Wow, that's you. He said he's naturally blonde and he has to dye his hair.
Howard asked how he got the part. Robin said he went in and he did a fake scene with fake characters. He said they didn't want people to come in and do the idea of the Penguin.
Howard said he thinks the show is great. He said Robin didn't know it was for that part. He said he looked different but they were able to envision him as the Penguin. Howard said no one ever imagined him as a young man.
Howard said it's weird. Howard asked if he got the part that quickly. Robin said he went in and did it once and then he got the call. Howard asked if it's tough to audition like that.
Robin said if it's like pilot season sometimes you get a week to do a scene. Howard asked if he was playing a villain in this scene he did for the audition. Howard said it's amazing that they can do one read through and know he's the guy. Howard said if you make a mistake it could screw up the whole season. Howard asked Robin what he was doing before he did that. Robin Quivers said he was on the Walking Dead.
Robin said that's right. Howard asked if he as making a living before Gotham. Robin said he was doing okay. He said he had lost his SAG insurance when he didn't work in Howard asked where he went to college. Robin said he went to Northwestern. He said that was way back in Robin said he grew up in Iowa. Howard said that has to be tough because there's no way you can believe in yourself and know how to get into show business.
Robin said both of his parents are actuaries. Howard said they're brilliant. Robin said they are math people. Howard said he was told by his dad if he could do that job he'd have a job for life. Robin said that's like the number one job. Howard said that job isn't easy. He said you have to be a genius. Howard said they figure out crazy stuff. Robin said his dad was 93 when he died. He said he was a lot older. He said that he would tell him that they did all of their work in pen.
He said he kept some of the books and the books had sweat drips in the calculations. He said this was in like or so.
Howard asked how old his parents were. Robin said his dad was 28 years older than his mother. He said he was 55 when he was born. Robin said he was very young seeming though. He said he kept up with everyone.
Howard said they must have worried about him becoming an actor. Robin said having an older dad like that was kind of strange. He said he started his life over with a second marriage. He said he taught him a lesson about how to be happy and do his thing and follow his dream. Howard said he had some wisdom. Robin said he did. He said when he applied for college he had to declare a major.
He figured he'd say theater. He said he grew up in a place where it was like Friday Night Lights where it was all football. Robin said he wasn't into that. He said he grew up a pudgy kid too. Howard asked Robin about going to college and how he got the balls to go audition. Robin said he figured he'd try it right away. He said he lost a bunch of weight in his Freshman year.
He said he did a NY Lottery commercial for his first job. Howard said that's wild. Robin said that's how he got his SAG card. He said he waited tables in the city for a couple of months. He said the place was a shithole. He said he was a waiter and they let people smoke in there. He said it was the kids who picked the butts out of the ashtray and smoked them. Robin said he was also on Letterman. He said he was the Late Show page with the British Accent.
Howard asked how he did that. Robin did an impression of what that sounded like. He said it was a fun bit. He said he was on twice. He said it got laughs. Robin said he just came out and gave shit to Dave for 30 seconds and then you walk off.
He said there was no rehearsal. Howard asked if he thought he might get a regular spot on the show. Robin said you think about that at the time. Howard said he thinks Robin is fucking awesome as the Penguin. He said he didn't go over the top with it.
Robin said that was the goal. He said it starts with the writers. He said they have some great people working on the show. He said they are all riding the wave of what Heath Ledger did with the Joker. He said that he did something special with that. Howard said the character is great and not one dimensional.
He said it's great. Robin said he grew up watching the Batman movies and the TV show. Howard asked if he went back and watched every super hero movie. Howard asked if he's getting a lot of attention now. Robin said he is but they work 9 months a year doing their 22 episodes. Howard said he loves the show so much. Howard said the show is so good that he's in almost every episode.
Howard said the kid playing Bruce Wayne is hardly in the show. He said they could call the show The Penguin. Robin said he was there from episode one.
He said the guy playing the Riddler is great too. Howard said that guy is really good too. Howard said he's the real deal. Robin said he really is.
He said this year is going to be his launch. He said he had the fortune of being there for the pilot. Howard asked how much makeup he has to do. Robin said he has about 50 minutes of makeup to do. He said they do something to his nose and his teeth. Howard asked if he stays in character all day long. Robin said hell no. He said no offense to anyone who does but he can't do that. Howard said that would be funny. Robin said he has that limp in the show and they asked if he keeps that.
Robin said there's no way he'd do that. He said he forgot to do the limp in one episode. He said no one picked up on it. Robin said he was told by someone that he forgets the limp sometimes. He said now he keeps a water bottle cap in his shoe. He said he did that for a while and then he figured he got it and he downgraded to putting two quarters in his shoe. He said now he remembers to limp.
Howard asked if it's worth going to acting school. Robin said he thinks it is. He said you learn to do things and there is a lot of psychology in it. He said you can also make a lot of connections that way. He said he did a play with Billy Eichner and he's his friend now. He said they did a live show there in New York for a long time.
He said Joan Rivers was a guest and she became a champion of Billy's end of the show. Howard said that's amazing. He said he went to college and no one he went to school with did anything. Howard said he didn't learn anything there.
Howard said he is a huge fan of Robin Lord Taylor. Robin said he's been a fan of his for as long as he can remember too. Howard said he grew up in Iowa. Robin said that's his real name too. Howard said he wonders what's going to happen to him. He asked if he's making good money. Robin said he's doing alright. Howard said he is locked in for life so he should be great with Comic-Con and all of that.
Robin said he's locked in with everyone there. Howard said he can imagine him being there and being introduced by Adam West. Robin said Stan Lee is still out there signing and doing stuff all day long. Howard asked if there's a rivalry between DC and Marvel. Robin said it's just between the fans. Howard asked if the whole cast goes to Comic-Con. Robin said they all go. He said he was just in Philly doing something there. He said he signs autographs and takes selfies with them.
He said imagine it's like a graduation party times a million. He said it's really intense. He said he can work on Gotham for 15 hours and not feel as much as he does doing 8 hours of a convention.
He said it's a lot of work. Howard said he thinks Donal Logue is a good actor too. He said Ben McKenzie is really good too.
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He said that he's married to Morena Baccarin who is on the show too. Howard said that would be his move on the show. He said he'd want to fuck every woman on the show. Howard said Jada is in incredible shape too. Howard said tonight's episode kicks off a big plot line for the Penguin. Robin said he makes the biggest power play he's ever made.
He said it will affect everyone in the show. He said the show tonight will start to show the world we're living in today. Howard said it must be a Donald Trump kind of situation. Robin said it might be something like that. He said we'll have to see how it goes. He said he is making a power play. Howard said this is a really good gig for him. Robin said you want to play someone who has the full human experience. He said they shoot it there in New York. Howard said he might have to come by the set.
He said he might have to observe and take some notes. Howard said he didn't know they shot it there in New York. Howard asked if he lives there. Robin said he came there at 9 and said he would live there some day and now he does. He said he lives on the upper west side. Howard asked if they'll ever see Batman on the show. Robin said maybe when the show ends is when he puts on the cape. Howard said that kid is growing up quick.
Robin said he's taller than he is now. Howard said Robin has captured his attention and he does love him on Gotham.
Robin said that means a lot to him. Howard said he sees many great things for him in the future. Howard asked how old he is now. Robin said he's He said that his dad had a lot happen later in his life. Howard asked if he feels old. Robin said not old but later than his 20s. Howard asked who he's hanging out with. Robin said he doesn't have a lot of famous friends. He said he has met Will Smith. He said he hangs with Ben McKenzie and his wife Morena. Robin said he didn't know what to expect from Jada when he started working with her.
He said she's great though. He said she's very professional. Howard asked if the kids come by. Robin said he never saw Jaden. He said he thinks he saw Willow at Craft Services. Howard asked if he watches the show. Robin said he does. He said he's obsessed. He said he doesn't really look like he does on the show. He said the way he talks is different enough for him that it doesn't make him feel uncomfortable.
Howard asked if he's a bit of a diva and says that the Penguin wouldn't say some things. Robin said he might do that. Howard said some lines are hard to deliver if they don't put it the right way.
He said he can change a word or an intention. He said Bruno Heller created this thing and they came up to the cast members and said if you ever have anything that doesn't feel right or sound right just let them know. He said they might know the characters better than they do. He said you never get that.
Howard said he has to have him come in as the Penguin and let him interview him like that. Robin said he can't do that right now.
He said the word choice and the language isn't the way he speaks at all. Howard thanked Robin for coming in. He said that he plays the Penguin on Gotham. He said TV has gotten better than movies in many ways. Robin said the show is one of the biggest TV shows that they shoot in New York.
Howard asked if he fucks up lines. Robin said he does all the time. He said that he had Paul Reubens playing his dad on the show. Howard said that's right. He said he was good. Howard said he heard that his dad died on the same day that he shot the episode where his dad died. Robin said they were on set and it was on a Wednesday.
He said it was kind of expected but still a shock. He said that day they were going to shoot the episode where his TV dad was dying. He said it was Paul's last day on the set and he was about to do a press junket.
He said that he had to do the scene because he was going through it for real. He said he did the shoot. He said he just did it and he has never had that experience. He said his dad was a big personality and in a way it was kind of his way putting himself into his world. He said it was a great tribute to him. Howard said he is doing a good job.
He said that's what he wanted to tell him. He said he's making him proud and he doesn't even know him. Howard said he knows good acting.
He said he's good. Quivers said she was telling Howard he's a good actor too. Robin told Quivers that she's a good actress too. Howard said he doesn't have to tell her that. Howard said everyone should watch Gotham. He said it was really great to meet him. He said he has become the Penguin. Howard said there he is. He said he can't believe it. Howard asked if he ever goes to the zoo and studies penguins.
Robin laughed and said he does not. Howard went to break a short time later. As they went to break they played a prank call the guys made to a Swap Shop show with clips of Fake Obama.
She said he has to stop talking about his hair and all of that. Howard said he has a game to play. The caller, Peggy Sue, is going to play for bucks from Kabbage. Howard said he has a Beetlejuice Song game to play. Howard sang a song he made up as he went along for the game. Howard sang about Peggy talking and how he didn't understand what she was saying. Howard said he has a practice session first. Howard said they start singing to Beetlejuice and they see if he can fill in the next word.
Howard played one where Richard Christy sang the alphabet song. He gets up to F and they stop. They want to know if Beet will know to sing ''G'' in the song. Peggy said that he will know. Howard said it's weird that he's got a big penis and a small head.
Howard played the song and Beet knew G but he made up his own lyrics after that. Howard said Beet always ends up in some sexual rant in these songs. Howard said Peggy would have gotten that one right. Howard said in the next one they sang Three Blind Mice. He played some of Richard singing it to Beetlejuice. Howard asked if he will know the next line.
All he had to know was ''Mice'' in the song. Howard played his answer and Beetlejuice asked if Richard was a blind mother fucker. Howard said that was a no. Howard said the next one was this. He played Richard singing Pop Goes The Howard asked if he'll know ''weasel. Howard said he'll write that down. Howard played Beetlejuice singing ''Weasel. He added something about him having a cock in his ass.
Howard replayed that so he could hear it again. Howard said Peggy has to get the next 3 right. Howard played the next one which was Richard singing ''It's a small After All. Howard played Beetlejuice singing ''Ain't no small world here man Robin said he knows a lot more than they think he does. Peggy was fine with not winning.
Howard let her go after that. Howard replayed Beetlejuice singing the Small World thing and talking about something black and white. Howard said poor Peggy Sue didn't win. Howard took a call from a guy, Angelo, and asked if he wants to play the game. Angelo said he thinks he can do better than Peggy Sue.
Angelo said he thinks Howard's hair is gorgeous. He said he was talking to his friends all weekend and doing his Speech Impediment Man lawyer impression. Howard said he wants to get to the game. He said it's time to play. Howard played Richard singing ''Humpty Dumpty sat on a Angelo said he will not. Howard played Beetlejuice rambling about a cock and fucking a deer or something.
He didn't get the wall. Howard played the next song which was ''Hickory Dickory Howard said he thinks saying no is a safe way to play the game. Howard played Beetlejuice answering that one and he did say ''dock'' along with a lot of other nonsense. Howard played the next one which was Richard singing ''Here comes Peter Howard played Beetlejuice giving the answer of ''Cotton ball. Howard played Richard singing ''Twinkle, Twinkle Little Howard said he thinks he'll know that one. Robin said he has surprised them every time.
Howard played Beetlejuice rambling something about being in a carriage. Angelo said he's going to take that money and give some to his kids so they can have a good day.
He said his son asked why Beetlejuice has such a small head. He said he told him he had Zika before anyone. Howard asked if they know how Zika got started. He said Beetlejuice bit a mosquito and gave the mosquito Zika. Howard got in some plugs and put Angelo on hold so they could get his information. They went to break after that. Howard came back and sang along with the Sheryl Crow song.
Howard said that's part of their special. Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a killer Metallica interview last week. He asked if they'll ever put the video up on the web site for that. Howard said they did 3 songs live and they have the video up on the web site. The caller said it had to be amazing to be there. Howard said on Wednesday they have Green Day coming in to do a bunch of tunes.
Howard said that should be fun. The caller asked if Howard has been playing guitar at all. Howard said he hasn't picked up his axe in a while. He said he's concentrating on being a painter instead.
Robin said he's doing very well with the painting. The caller laughed and said they have a painter interviewing Metallica. Robin said he did a great impression of Trump. Howard said Alec didn't think he had a Trump but Lorne said he does and he was right. Robin said he was so good.
Howard said Kate McKinnon was really good too. Howard asked if Robin saw this Kim Kardashian story. He said she was in Paris for something. Robin said she was there for Fashion Week. Howard said she was there and in a hotel and two guys in masks robbed her. Howard said they invaded her hotel room and took her jewelry.
Howard said it's a real serious thing. Howard said Kanye West was doing a show and he was told what happened and he stopped the show 10 minutes early. Robin said he's in Queens so what can he do? Howard said he has to think about that. Howard said he has to get on the phone and say something to her.
He said she was robbed at gun point. Howard said he was something else that George Bush. Howard said Kanye did the right thing by stopping the show. Robin said there was nothing he can do about it. Howard said they could have waited 10 minutes to whisper it to him.
Gary said Steve Brandano was at that concert and the audience didn't get upset. He said that Kanye did over an hour of stuff and it was a festival so there were other performers there. Howard said you have to stop and get off the stage. Howard said this is why Robin isn't married. Robin said he didn't go to Paris. Gary said he's tearing his hair out hearing this. He said he loves her and he had to do something. Howard said listen to her. Howard asked Robin why Steve Brandano is at every show.
Howard asked if he has to get up early. Robin said he gets out to everything. Howard said Robin tries to come off like a hard ass. He said the truth is that she got her cat a kidney transplant. Howard said she's uncomfortable with feelings. Howard said he has never seen an ass on a woman like Kim has. Robin said she thinks they're implants.
Howard asked if she wants to go on record with that. Howard said they are on all of the news programs. Howard said tapes of their show featuring Donald Trump have been used in the campaign. Howard said the other day he was talking about his name being mentioned in the debate.
Howard said he talked about Trump being asked about the Iraq war back in Howard said there was a big screaming headline that he was confirming that Trump said he was for the war. Howard said this was on CNN where they said he was saying that Trump was lying. Howard said he emailed Trump and explained to him that's not what he said. Howard said he felt a little weird about that. Robin said the press makes up things. Howard said the tape is what the tape is. He said make of it what you will.
He said the only thing he confirmed was that the tape was from their show. Howard said over the weekend they had at least 7 new things that Trump said on their show that were picked up. Howard said they're dragging everything out from the show. Howard said it's all in the public record of course. Howard said Trump was one of the best guests they had because he was stream of consciousness and he would just say what was on his mind.
Howard said that's what they're using. He said he thinks you'd have to cut him some slack though. He said he's doing it for fun. Howard said don't hold him to everything he says either.
Howard said he's trying to do a 4 hour show. Howard said imagine when Tracy Morgan runs for President. He mentioned all of those comments he'll have about pussy. Howard said Trump said if he knew he'd run for president some day he wouldn't have done the Howard Stern Show. Howard said the show is getting mentioned everywhere which is good but he doesn't even care about that.
He said he just wants the election over with. Robin said it seems like this election has been 7 years long. Howard said all anyone is talking about is the election.
Howard said he can't talk about himself because there's so much going on. Phone Calls, Beetlejuice And More. Howard said he always orders in. He said he gets eggplant parm and a side order of broccoli. Mark asked if he ever wants to do anything for himself. He said he has a team of people who take care of his needs. Howard said they should hook his brain up to a radio microphone.
He said everything else he's incapable of doing. Robin said he can paint. Howard said that's true. He said if he's driving he has to get directions from Beth. He said that if he's eating someone else has to get him food. Howard said he can't even get 2 blocks from his home. Robin said Howard asks people if they carry money and how childish it is not to. He can't even get his own stuff. Howard said he does carry money though.
Howard said he has to say that he does hold up with his looks. Howard said they don't photoshop the pictures they take in the studio either. Mark said he doesn't hold up next to some of the people in the studio. Howard said he doesn't think he looks so weird.
Howard said he thinks he looks okay. He said he knows he's not a beauty but some people think he looks okay. Howard told Mark to get off his phone.
Howard said he has 3 questions left from the Beetlejuice song game. Howard played Beetlejuice singing the right lyrics about ''was his name-o. Howard said Beetlejuice does impressions too.
Howard said he does Ralph Kramden from the Honeymooners. Howard played a clip of Beetlejuice doing that impression. He had him doing Erkel too. Beetlejuice sounds like Beetlejuice when he does any impressions. He did one of Fred Sanford and he had some lines down but he still sounded like Beetlejuice. Howard said they have to throw money at Beetlejuice to get him to record stuff. He said he eventually got fed up and told them to take that money and fuck themselves.
Howard said it may have been too long in there. Howard said they were throwing money at him and he refused to record more. Howard played a clip of Beetlejuice saying he had to piss like a race horse. Howard said he didn't know he knew that term. Howard said Beetlejuice made fun of Richard in there too. Howard played some audio of Beetlejuice doing that.
He was calling him a dumb fuck. Howard played another clip of Beetlejuice refusing to repeat after Richard and telling him he knows what today's show is. Beetlejuice said he ain't gotta tell him. He asked what the fuck is wrong with this guy. Beetlejuice said he knows what today's show is. He asked if he thinks he's fucking stupid or something. That went on for a couple of minutes. Sal tried to get him to repeat after him. Beetlejuice eventually repeated but got it wrong.
Howard said that lasted 3 hours. He said sometimes he nails it but he's difficult. Howard played another clip where Richard sang ''Zippity Howard played another one where Richard sang ''The farmer in the dell Beetlejuice didn't get it right. He said the farmer is a fucking idiot.