Teen Dating Violence: Kim's Story - Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence
Feb 20, Activism, Stories. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be the girl to end up in an abusive relationship, especially because I did. like to thank these courageous teens for sharing their stories and for helping to educate .. Teen dating abuse is commonly referred to as “teen dating violence. Approximately two in 10 teenage girls say they have been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. Today, one story.
I have never been so humiliated in my life. In that moment, I had two choices: I could either sit there and continue to be belittled in front of everyone because he wasn't going to leave, and nobody else was going to say or do anything, or I could walk out and be shamed anyway because I had given into his threats.
I wanted to disappear. I walked out because I was mortified. I never imagined such shame and at 15 years old, understood it even less. As we walked down the hall, he spit in my face, pulled my necklace off my neck, threw it in the trashcan and he threw me up against the lockers. It was in those moments when I felt most alone. It was those incidents that left long-lasting emotional scars. My dignity was stripped and self-worth eroded.
My story begins at the age of 14 and continues off and on until I was Mine is a story of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. It didn't begin immediately, in fact, there weren't any signs until we had been dating for almost a year. The signs weren't obvious, especially to a 14 year-old, but it began with him telling me he didn't like the shirts I wore, or that my skirt was too short; at the time, it was easy to mistake jealousy and control for adoration.
It soon progressed to name-calling, insults, unfounded accusations, degradation, humiliation, and isolation. The first step in domestic violence is to charm the victim; the second is to isolate the victim. Once it begins, it will continue to get worse. I began believing I deserved the abuse, and thought everybody else believed I was who he said I was.
The hell became so familiar that it was easier to stay rather than leave. It was easier to live with the shame and guilt in secrecy. It was easier to stay and suffer in private than to try to leave and be humiliated in public.
I was stuck in a psychological trap and didn't know where to turn, nobody could help me. I tried to leave a few times, he would threaten to commit suicide, or worse. The relationship took an emotional toll to the point where I was getting severe panic attacks.
I ended up in the hospital a few times and was put in counseling but I never spoke about the abuse. I didn't want anybody to know. I lied for and about him. Nobody knew I had been threatened with a gun.
Nobody knew I had been punched so hard I was almost knocked out. Nobody knew about the head butts each time he didn't agree with something I did or didn't do. Nobody knew the reason my windshield had shattered was because he had punched it in a fit of rage over what I had worn to school that day. Nobody knew about the many deliberate close call, head-on collisions while he was threatening to "kill us both.
Not because of some fight or big blowout, I was just done. At first, Rae Anne seemed happy. She was a cheerleader and her athletic boyfriend poured on the affection with flowers, love notes and constant adoration. Then the sweet relationship took a turn. She said Marcus began telling her what to do, what to wear and demanding that she not attract other boys' attention. And with the makeup, if I would wear it, like, even a little bit, he would get mad," Rae Anne said.
Marcus was Rae Anne's first boyfriend, and she said she didn't know if this was unusual behavior. But Rae Anne's mother, Elaine, soon noticed her bubbly daughter was becoming withdrawn and less confident.
The controlling behavior Rae Anne was experiencing is a sign that emotional abuse may escalate, experts warn. For Rae Anne and Marcus, one minute there were tender kisses; the next, angry threats.
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Rae Anne says the first hint it was escalating to physical abuse came one day at school. And, like, he came up to me, and, like, I wanted him to stay with me and not go with his brother, and I just remember him turning around and punching me in my arm," Rae Anne said. One of the scariest moments, she says, happened during an argument between classes when she grabbed Marcus' backpack.
And he pushed me down the stairs," she said.
A High School Student's Nightmare: Dating Violence | beljournalist.info
Rae Anne told her mom about the incident. At this point, Elaine said she tried to persuade her daughter to end her relationship with Marcus. I mean, if he was going to push her down stairs, what else was he doing that I didn't know about? There was a lot she didn't know. One time, Rae Anne says Marcus bit her cheek.
On another occasion, she says, he set her backpack on fire. Rae Anne says other students saw the violence but blamed her for the trouble, not the star athlete. Despite feeling isolated and alone, Rae Anne somehow found a moment of confidence and broke up with Marcus.
Potential for Abuse Doesn't End With Breakup Murray says ending a relationship doesn't mean the danger of abuse is gone.
And an abuser who doesn't have power and control is very frightened," she said. Just days after they split up, Rae Anne says Marcus wrote a heartfelt letter to her, begging for another chance.
She gave him another chance, she said, hoping the relationship would get better. But as in most cases of teen dating violence, it didn't get better. Marcus even said he'd commit suicide if she left him, Rae Anne said. The breaking point came one day in drama class. Rae Anne says Marcus violently smacked her with a notebook "as hard as he could.
So I got up and I slapped him back," she said. After the incident, the school suspended both Marcus and Rae Anne.Restored - Best Domestic Violence and Abuse Short Film 2016 (TLD)
But in response to the escalating violence, Rae Anne's mother says she felt that the school essentially did nothing to help her daughter. So she took a drastic but, she felt, necessary step: She moved her family across town to a new school district.
She says felt it was the only way to get her daughter away from Marcus. Despite the physical abuse, Rae Anne says she wasn't able to end her relationship with Marcus. Rae Anne said she was concerned for Marcus, and worried "that he'd hurt himself or somebody else.
The popular football star was now a sophomore, and it didn't take long for him to move on to a new girl at school. This time he found someone just as popular as himself, an outgoing year-old sophomore -- a beautiful, bright dancer named Ortralla Mosley. Her mother, Carolyn Mosley, remembers the first time she met Marcus. He made a good impression.
Tragic Tale of Teen Dating Violence - ABC News
He had his life organized to where he thought he was on the right road. I really thought they would make a very, very, very good couple," she said. But just as he had with Rae Anne, Marcus soon began to control Ortralla's life and by the spring ofOrtralla's mother said her daughter had had enough and was trying to break up with him.
On the morning of March 28,she says Ortralla went to school expecting trouble. Marcus was an emotional wreck, begging Ortralla not to leave him, Mosley says.