How to turn down someone online dating

How to politely decline people on internet dating sites? - etiquette | Ask MetaFilter

how to turn down someone online dating

It's awkward turning someone down—especially if they make some . Because of that, Laurie Davis, an online dating coach and founder of. Never turn someone down via another person. may be the only way if you met this person through online dating, but take special care to compliment them first. These 9 women explain how they turn someone down and say no to a date, and not gonna lie some are pretty brutal.

I usually just think the person is full of themselves enough to think I'm just hanging on their reply. I also don't send those messages to people who message me, when I don't want to go on a date with them. It's important to remember that e-dating values are different than RL values for better or worseand not responding is perfectly OK, even preferred. That said, if you do need to respond, simply say 'Thanks, but no thanks'.

And then do not communicate any further, even when prodded. If you're concerned about follow-ups, you can send the note and block the people. I much more would rather get a 'thank you, but no thank you' response then being blanked. Unless someone is being a jerk, or being aggressive, not responding just seems like the easy-for-me avoidance solution, not the polite solution.

Polite to me way to do it: I am sorry, but I am not interested right now. Either Ambient2 or edgeways notes are fine. Sure they may be bummed, but at least they'll know where they stand and they can move onto someone else.

Random ladies you don't know, I think it's safe to ignore. No wondering if the person got your email, and no awkwardness. A quick response and onto the next person.

I agree that "Thanks for your message but I don't think we'd be a good match" is the polite way to go. It's how I'd want to be treated so I used that as my guide. When a person that I knew from around town -- not a friend, acquaintance, or even someone I'd ever actually spoken with, just someone I'd seen around at a few topical events -- found me on OKC, he wrote me a message immediately asking me out on a date. I ignored it because he was so very much not my type physically that it would be an impossible gap to breach, many of his OKC answers were diametrically opposed to mine including the fact that he wanted kids and I do not, which is dealbreaker territory in your 30s ; besides, we did not actually know each other at all.

Ignoring his message felt similar to ignoring those gas station attendants that always ask you for your phone number when you just want to buy gas.

A month or so later, I disabled my account because having an exceedingly busy life had utterly superseded any desire to date. A few days later, he found my email address we belong to a local email list that, hatefully, does not use blind carbon copy and sent me an message asking if he was the reason I disabled my OKC account.

At that point, I stopped attending the events I would see him at and never again returned. When I see him now, I avert my eyes.

He did not have the courage to ever speak to me in person, ever: Thinking that disabling my OKC account had anything to do with him whatsoever: I should have just said no. I've literally never gotten a "thanks, but no thanks" response online, but I definitely have after I've gone on multiple, increasingly awkward dates with people who did not like me at all but were, I guess, trying to be nice?

There's no need to waste everyone's time with that approach. Please do not just go on dates with these women. As a lady who is currently seeking a dude to date, and who is often the initiator in these sorts of situations, I can attest that we are mostly adults who can handle honest rejection so long as it is delivered quickly and with minimal fuss -- truly, it is OK! In fact, I think dudes I like who reject me as a prospective partner right up front are pretty sweet for having the nerve to just rip the band-aid off, and I have gone on to be good friends with some of them as a result.

The only way these women could possibly think poorly of you is if you are rude in declining their invitations, or if you agree to take them out on dates while already knowing you did not want to be involved with them in any way.

The fact that you're not romantically interested in them will have to come out sooner or later, right? You shouldn't try to fake it and ignore your own feelings in hopes that you will be able to spare someone else from discomfort.

We will never be able to spare people from discomfort, even if we do everything they want us to do. And the person you would attempt to force yourself to date would notice how hollow your words and actions are, sooner or later. Dropping a quick note with something like "I'm flattered that you'd like to go out on a date with me, but I just don't think we'd make a good match romantically.

10 Ways to Turn Down A Second Date - The Good Men Project

Take care, best of luck! I message people sometimes and forget about it pretty quickly no matter how much I liked their profile. I'm only going to remember you if you message me back. The only time I start to get into someone if is we have a couple of messages back and forth and it looks like we might meet, but that's regardless of whether I messaged first or the guy did. I would be really disappointed if I found out someone went on a date with me out of some sort of guilty feeling of obligation.

If every single guy who wasn't into me wrote to explain that I would just cry.

10 Ways to Turn Down A Second Date

Once you've met, it's polite to respond. Some even from interesting people but maybe not interesting enough to date.

how to turn down someone online dating

Thought it would be fun to write back just for the heck of it. One thing that doesn't seem so bad to do is to write a short note back, minimal, kind and acknowledging but fail to invite any follow-up by not asking questions. Works for me more often than not, but I might not have OP's natural magnetism. Not very many women in our culture are forward enough to ask for the date themselves for better and for worse usually for worse.

If they do, ain't nothing wrong with a straight forward, kind rejection. I'm not interested in that way, you know? Hope you find someone who is!

How to Politely Decline a Date via Text

The courage to ask is rare and deserves to be nurtured if only for the sake of the next guy who might appreciate the message.

The idea that one shouldn't waste one's time or others' time on dates with folks who aren't perfect matches is kind of silly, too.

Go out if you want to go out and don't go out if you don't want to go out.

3 TIPS For How To Date Online (PLUS what NOT to do!)

Obligations and expectations on first dates are for the birds. They're real people, even if it's the internet. However, it's also really important to be as straightforward as possible. As others have mentioned, saying a clear, polite "No, but thank you. In your profile, include a one-liner along the lines of, I feel uncomfortable dating people I know through friends so don't take it personally if I don't respond for that reason. This gets you off the hook with the least amount of hurt feelings.

If you already know the person, maybe just That said, I think it would be weird to just ignore a message from someone you know and will be interacting with in the future. For those who have emailed you thus far, I would respond briefly with one of the excellent suggestions above. For the future, I would put a notation on my profile that says something like: Match does, but it doesn't stop the truly persistent.

I honestly think you should go with what's most comfortable, OP. There's a lot of variance between what the other person "might" want, here, and you've stated that you feel uncomfortable just not replying. I do not think you should suck it up and go on dates you don't want to. Rejection sucks, and some people take it more to heart than others. The sooner you clarify the situation, the sooner he can move on.

If your main concern is how to turn down a date without hurting his feelings, an option of lying becomes more tempting. However, coming up with a non-existent boyfriend or husband is not a good idea, especially if the rejected man ever finds the truth. If you want to avoid a date in the most painless way, compliment your admirer. This will cushion your further words and save him from vain hopes.

Be and sound sincere. If you say you are very busy now, it means you are hinting that you are ready to meet later. This is another way to make a man expect something bigger.

how to turn down someone online dating

Many men swallow this bait and become friends with a woman they like hoping to bring their relationships to a romantic dimension one day. Explain your decision if you want to. Some men need feedback when it comes to dating.

How to Politely Decline a Date via Text

If you rejected him and he asks for the explanation, you have the right to ignore his request. You are trying to be nice while declining his offer to go out and your subconsciousness makes your mouth smile.

Remember that your smiling face can mean to him that you are flirting. Otherwise, he may think he still has a chance and needs to put more effort. Having a first date with a person is like testing the waters. Although dating counselors always advise to have a second date to double check your feelings, sometimes it becomes clear from the very first minutes of the date number one that you are with the wrong person and this date will be the last. There are two possible ways how to say no to a date.

You can say it face to face in the end of your first date or you can agree to meet again and then text or call him next day to say the truth. Choose the tactics according to your level of boldness. Rejection via text is more convenient for you and less painful for him not sure about it, though. Right on the following day, write him a thanks-but-no-thanks email or message expressing your gratitude for the time spent together, complimenting him on how interesting and attractive he is, and finally admitting that there was no chemistry.

Mention his virtues and wish him to find the right girl. One of the possible ways how to decline a date is to say that he is not your type but you have a friend and you think he is going to like her.

how to turn down someone online dating

This is how you can sweeten the bitter pill of rejection and set up a date for two good people. The worst thing you can do is to switch on the ghosting mode. Unless he was a maniac and this is the only way to hide from him. Here are our findings. When a woman begins her rejection speech, she tries to smooth the sharp angles and carefully picks up the right words.